Passion Run 2008

today's run was indeed one for passion.

it wasnt the ideal kick-start. i did not wake up early enough as had planned. it did not help that the run was at ecp and the bus i boarded took 75min instead of the 35.5min represented in sbstransit schedule online. having not emptied my bowels the day before made the matter worse (which you will know why later).

i finally alighted at the "advised" bus-stop and realised that i've gotta walked a hefty distance before i could see the seas. this was really not encouraging.

nevermind nevermind nevermind...focus focus focus...

weather checked. cheers checked. crowd checked. only thing unchecked was direction - while i was still making my way across the muddy grounds to the reporting stand, the crowd was moving in the opposite direction and leaving. damn.

my stomach started to grow butterflies. so should i or should i not?...$18 is perhaps not so material and i've already gotten the jersey after all. no champion chip no time-tracking. and for a mere 5click non-competitive run, all the participants would have been back...damn...damn...

despite all the hesitation, i shamelessly took my first step on the running route. ALONE...or so i thought...since people on the track now were either leisurely strolling to the carparks or brisk walking to the ecp hawker.

louder louder louder my mp3 blasted. faster faster faster i went. the world enveloped into one of me and i...

just as i was getting into the pace and felt the heat rising, i felt the sting i've not felt for many years...that awful stitch..argh..it must be the shit it must be. and to hold this extra "baggage" in a run like that was suddenly a challenge against nature's call for me.

inhaled...exhaled...inhaled...exhaled...control control control...

no good because the stitch just grew more acute. the butterflies in my stomach must had retreated to plant this revolt - the former had been an act of testing water and of premonition, the latter now an attack to surprise and of confrontation...with much discomfort, i stopped.

3min...5min...7min...so should i really or should i really not? it's now not too late to make a u-turn back since its just slightly more than 1click away from where i had begun. to quit would be easy to proceed questionable. am i in a state to continue alone?...damn...damn...damn...

and at the 9min or so...i was ready to go once more. yes i conquered that mind demon and so i would also fight and tame those little devils in me.

it's all in the mind. it's all in the mind. it's all in the mind.

the breeze was embracing, the stillness of the seas of silent consent. the laughters of campers were cheers and the rollerbladers' trail a lead. the world was of me and i once more.

distance becomes fuzzy since without a crowd of runners and a line of urshers, the signboard that indicated "1km", "2km" etc. and the stipulated running route no longer tells much about how far i've genuinely covered. i thanked myself for basing duration of run as objective for my usual practices because if distance had been the goal, i would not have found the strength and endurance to keep my legs going. for the rest of the race i ran non-stop.

the end was marked with the receipt of a runner's medal (in fact, all participants were entitled to one) and when i happily showed it to my brother, he candidly said, "medal meh? not keychain?" HUH...it cant be...it shouldnt be....but...AH!..A KEYCHAIN it is indeed!..but since im taught in school that substance takes over form, a keychain in my hand it is, a medal in my heart it will be...hahahaha...

passion run - passion to run, run for passion.